YOU GET A KISS? ANNOUNCER: I THINK HE MEANT A KISS FOR THE CAMERA GUYS BUT THAT'S FINE SIMON COWELL HEADING INTO HIS FAVORITE SPOT, AGO
HE WAS THERE TO CELEBRATE BECAUSE HE JUST GOT A STAR ON THE HOLLYWOOD WALK OF FAME ANNOUNCER: YEAH, SO FAR NO ONE'S FOUGHT ON IT, PRETENDED TO PEE ON IT OR TAKEN A PICKAX TO IT SO THAT'S COOL AND DUDE JUST SIGNED A NEW MONSTER DEAL WITH "AG
T" THERE ARE SO MANY PEOPLE AT HIS PARTY ANNOUNCER: PAULA, HOWIE, MEL B, PETRA, PAUL, HEIDI, THESE GUYS, BOY BAND WE ASSUME, DON'T KNOW YET SIMON! WHAT'S THE NEXT BIG DAY OF YOUR LIFE? WHAT'S NEXT? A CONSTELLATION
BAD JOKE HE SAYS A CONSTELLATION ANNOUNCER: BECAUSE — BECAUSE OF THE THING HARVEY: SIMON IS AMAZING WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT HE WAS A JUDGE ON A BIG SHOW AND LEFT
YOU WOULD THINK HE CAN'T RE-CREATE THAT ROLE HE DID THEN HE'S GOT "X-FACTOR," AND THEN HE'S GOT ANOTHER NUMBER ONE SHOW WITH "AGT
" ANNOUNCER: DON'T FORGET "OBJECTIFIED" YOU HAVE A BIG EGO, DON'T YOU? OH, YOU DON'T! ANNOUNCER: BURN! SIMON COWELL, TOP OF THE WORLD, DUDE'S GOT EVERYTHING HARVEY: YOU KNOW WHAT HE LOST? WHAT HE DID HE LOSE? HARVEY: THANKS, GIRLS ANNOUNCER: SIMON COWELL, COMPLETE AND UTTER FAILURE AND NOT THE FIRST TIME
FOR YEARS AGO — HARVEY: HIS COMPANY CRASHED AND HE HAD BARELY CAP THERE TO GET HOME WHY DIDN'T HE SAVE HIS MONEY 1234 HARVEY: HE SQUANDERED MONEY HE SPENDS A LOT OF MONEY BURT IS HE LIVING PAYCHECK TO PAYCHECK NOW? HARVEY: SIMON COWELL MADE LIKE $45 MILLION IN ONE SEASON OF "AMERICAN IDOL" HE'S LIVING GIANT PAYCHECK TO GIANT PAYCHECK
[LAUGHTER] ANNOUNCER: CONGRATS ON THE STAR AND YOUR NEW CONTRACT AND YOUR HOT GIRLFRIEND AND THE MILLIONS OF DOLLARS THANK YOU SO MUCH
ANNOUNCER: SON OF A BITCH
Celebrity Fails
