Sometimes, the best part of the Bachelor franchise is the promos.
The one that we were blessed with at the end of Monday’s episode of The Bachelorette was truly one to remember from start to finish, and it might actually be the sexiest and also the angriest trailer we’ve ever gotten for this show. Hannah Brown is here for a good time and there’s just one man in particular (we’ll give you one guess as to who) that’s ruining everything, as per usual.
The one thing Luke P. is not ruining is our enjoyment of this trailer, which we’ve already watched approximately five times and we will continue to watch on a regular basis until next Monday. This is where the season gets good, people!
Please join us as we dig deep into the biggest moments of this supertease.
Makeouts and Massages Galore
Hannah is clearly going to have a good time with these guys. Tyler appears to be giving her a full-body massage with his body, and is that Peter she’s snogging in that cave? There’s also a hot tub, and Mike gets some kisses, and of course Luke has to get some too.
Love and Sparks
Mike’s feelin’ the love in the air, Connor’s feelin’ the sparks, Luke’s always feeling the love
This line from Hannah, about an unknown man: “I want to be physical with him. But I don’t want to just have sex. I want to like, love you in every way.”
This line from Luke: “I can’t wait to have sex with her when we’re married.”
Hannah singing, “I’m gonna get down…in the fantasy suites.”
Hopefully she wasn’t actually singing about Luke but let’s just prepare ourselves for the fact that she probably was.
We didn’t even know that was a thing, but apparently Hannah is going to do it with Garrett, but apparently to Luke it’s a “slap in the face,” and he doesn’t even want to talk to you guys right now, because he has a lot to think about between him and Hannah.
Garrett: “Where I’m from, we call that [bleeped].”
Luke Goes Full Evil
“I wanna make sure that [laughs] she’s not sleeping around. I don’t think she would ever do that, but yeah, I gotta make sure.”
Luke to Garrett, menacingly: “I don’t care what you said to her. I’ve been nothing but truthful and you are not gonna mess it up.
Everybody’s Nervous and Confused!
Jed to Hannah: “I just don’t fully understand how you can be as amazing as you are and you can consider somebody like him.”
Hannah to Luke: “I’m so freaking nervous. I don’t know if I can see it just yet.”
Garrett: “There have been some people questioning Hannah. It sucks that we’re in this position yet again, and it’s because of Luke P.”
THIS WHOLE EXCHANGE
Luke to Hannah: “So let’s talk about sex, and how the marriage bed should be kept pure. And let’s say you have had sex with one or multiple of these guys. I would be wanting to go home.”
Hannah to Luke: “You don’t get to decide what I can and can’t do because you don’t own me. Oh my god, I can’t believe you just said that. I’m so mad. I don’t owe you anything.”
Hannah to the camera: “Get the f–k away from me.”
Hannah to Luke: “My husband would never say what you said to me.”
Hannah: “I believe that sex was made for a man and a woman in marriage, but I am having physical relationships, so like I have had sex, and honestly, Jesus still loves me.”
Hannah: “The Lord made sex to be amazing, and guess what! A man does not control anything that I do. This is my decision.”
A Surprise Proposal
Chris Harrison explains to Hannah that one of the guys apparently went and bought a ring to propose to her, and she’s in tears over it.
Chris: “He went out and got a ring and demanded to see you, he is fully convinced that you are his wife, that you are the one…he is ready to propose to you.”
Hannah: “I’m obviously struggling. Things would have been so different if he wasn’t here right now. I don’t know what to do and I’m scared.”
The most heated part of that teaser (aside from all that making out) was Luke and Hannah’s clear disagreement on sex, which Chris Harrison told us was going to be a big conversation coming up as they try to deal with their differing faiths.
“Hannah and Luke are on this crash course of defining religion and defining faith and defining these conservative values and what it mean to them, and if there is not a better topic for our country to debate in the coming weeks, it’s this,” Harrison told us, explaining that it comes down to a question of values.
“Hannah’s season’s more dealing on a religious and conservative line, and more about values, and what do your values mean? And how do you define them? And how someone else defines them, and then how does that impact your life? And whose perspective should weigh more?” he said.
You can read our full chat with him about it here while we wait for the answers to all of our other burning questions.
Who is proposing? Who does Hannah sleep with? What will be the final straw with Luke (assuming there is one)? Are Dustin and Dylan even still on this show? Will Hannah even make it to an actual proposal without another meltdown? Time will tell!
The Bachelorette airs Mondays at 8 p.m. on ABC.